CHRISTMAS PAIN

When my lil’ sister called I was listening to some old school Christmas music, she thought I was crazy!

She asked me why do I torture my self like that. She asked that because of the type of Christmas songs I listen to, such as WHAT DO THE LONELY DO FOR CHRISTMAS, I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS, LET IT SNOW (BOYZ2MEN), BELLS WILL BE RINGING (PLEASE COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS), MERRY CHRISTMAS PRETTY BABY, GIVE LOVE ON CHRISTMAS DAY (MICHAEL JACKSON), SANTA CLAUSE WANT SOME LOVING…

Those are the wrong songs to be listening to if your lonely. I don’t know why I torture myself like that, I guess I kinda like the pain. I could argue that it’s wishful thinking. ” I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. Is it so bad to want a relationship that includes a series of romantic events?

Right now im listening to ” I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… (I’m dreaming of a white xmas just like the one that I use to know. Honey it’s where the tree top glisten, little bitty chilren, they’ll try to listen to hear for  the sleigh bells ringing in the snow… I’m dreaming of a white xmas with every xmas card I write oh…. I want u to know… may your day be so merry & bright…

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No SEX?

My big sister called me and told me that she hadn’t had sex in 2 years! omg!

Why would a beautiful woman go without sex?

Now I currently don’t have a man in my life and it’s driving me crazy. I don’t know about you but I need sex! I feel sex regulates the hormones, now with that being said I’m not saying you should sleep with every Tom, Dick, and Jose. If I haven’t had sex for a min. I tend to be vulnerable, especially in the winter. Sometimes  when the wind blows a cool chilly breeze in my direction I crave romance. I yearn the touch of a man. I know that may sound crazy but it’s true. I desire to be in one of those romantic movies.You know, Where your sitting curled up by the fire under a blanket with your boo, drinking a glass of cognac. He leans over and give you a passionate kiss. The kind that makes you feel loved. He slowly caresses your body with his strong hands. He stares into your eyes with intensity, at which point you know he wants to give you something more. Your heart rate is increasing rapidly, beating so hard you can hear it. ((( CAN YOU PICTURE IT )))

It’s been a long to since I have had passion in my life.

The holidays are coming and I know I am going to be a lonely mess! I guess I better ask Santa for a pack of rechargeable batteries.

what do the lonely do at Christmas time?

My home girl of 10 years called me about going out to party. The event was called “Soul Top Saturday”. I agreed, hell I was in the mood for a few drinks and she had already paid for the tickets. She sent me a pic. of what she was going to wear. I thought to myself this damn New Yorker trying to give Ms. Miami the business. Let me pull out my fab. life attire. I later shot her a pic. Around 9pm I called her, cause I was ready to get it in with those stale ass old men. I would have never paid the 25 dollar admission because of the crowd but hell, I didn’t pay for the ticket! She said she was leaving in 20min. On my way up there I was hit by a car that caused me to hit a pole.  I was devastated! I really didn’t know what to do after that. I contemplated calling the cops but I didn’t have INS. This may sound stupid but I went on to the spot, fucked up truck and all… I really needed a drink at that point. I get there and that mother fucker didn’t even show  up! WOW!

Later I was informed by my homeboy that she called him selling me out. That trick told him that I didn’t get into an accident. She said how can she get in an accident and she wasn’t even drunk. WTF!!! What she didn’t know is that he saw me and my truck and the bruises on my shoulder and knee. I started to bang on her door and curse her out, but I decided then and there she wasn’t worth it. I stopped fucking with her after that. In the past I had over looked a lot of bullshit coming from her (lies she told on me and everybody else. One time she lied and told that same friend that she hired me as a home health aid. She paid me $900 and I never came back to work. that was a bold face lie! I would never work for that lying ass chick)

Do you think that I did the right thing or should I have rang that BELL? What if it was you?

Get to know me B4 u form an opinion

I am kinda like a Black cat (I wont say which cat; cause It’s not that simple. I could be that Black Panther, mean and angry or a regular Black Cat calm and calculating) in the sense of how I am perceived. I can look mean,intimidating, aggressive, dominant, or even truculent. On the other hand some would say that I am Family oriented, Sensitive, protective, observant, unfiltered, sarcastic, with the possibility of  being a bit catty.
All perceptions!!!
I am a very upfront person naturally. I say what I feel instead of what Is intended. I speak aggressively but I may not mean it to be taken that way. My joke telling skills are of a sarcastic nature. I like having a great time with a group of people. I like being the Clydesdale of the bunch. I love crap talking but in the same breath I don’t want to do it 24-7. I am very romantic and sensual, with a big dramatic imagination! My life and the events that I have experienced could be a best seller if I ever became brave enough to become vulnerable.

Anyway… I will never understand people who can dislike someone just off site! If you don’t know me don’t judge me!

Why do women do that?

hold on im on the phone boo

ImageI was on the phone with my sister last night. We were going down memory lane, but it must have been “memory road” cause we didn’t get off the phone until after 3am. We reminisced about being kidnapped to living down the road from where a serial murderer abducted a little boy from his bedroom. We discussed all the men in our lives to those crazy ass friend,( most of whom are no longer friends.) I bought up those wild party’s and our chaotic clubbing routine. I’m just realizing all the friends I’ve gone through, and whats odd is that I have gone through just as many family members too. ” I guess it’s not true what they say: FRIENDS MAY COME AND GO BUT FAMILY IS FOREVER…

Of course she had to bring up my embarrassing events while on vacation, such as spring breaks from Daytona beach to Miami beach. I was young and addicticted to the street life! My mom told me one time that she was scared for me, being in the streets like I was. Tears came to our eyes after mentioning our mothers battle with cancer. She has been gone 4yrs but it still seems like I am in a dream. Sometimes if I have had one  to many drinks she will appear in my dreams! Maybe I should get drunk for Thanks Giving! (smile,not serious) Their were some laughing moments after we switched subjects regarding my crazy dead beat baby daddy’s. I only have 2 but damn both of them! (wait did I say I ONLY LMBO)

I have 2 kids and single , but I hope not to be for long… ( let me know if you know any good men.) I still have faith that I will find a man to share my life with.

I hope you enjoyed meeting me, because it was my pleasure. I just relocated to a new city and don’t know to many people, so maybe we can be friends… or not!!!

hold on im on the phone boo

ImageI was on the phone with my sister last night. We were going down memory lane, but it must have been “memory road” cause we didn’t get off the phone until after 3am. We reminisced about being kidnapped to living down the road from where a serial murderer abducted a little boy from his bedroom. We discussed all the men in our lives to those crazy ass friend,( most of whom are no longer friends.) I bought up those wild party’s and our chaotic clubbing routine. I’m just realizing all the friends I’ve gone through, and whats odd is that I have gone through just as many family members too. ” I guess it’s not true what they say: FRIENDS MAY COME AND GO BUT FAMILY IS FOREVER…

Of course she had to bring up my embarrassing events while on vacation, such as spring breaks from Daytona beach to Miami beach. I was young and addicticted to the street life! My mom told me one time that she was scared for me, being in the streets like I was. Tears came to our eyes after mentioning our mothers battle with cancer. She has been gone 4yrs but it still seems like I am in a dream. Sometimes if I have had one  to many drinks she will appear in my dreams! Maybe I should get drunk for Thanks Giving! (smile,not serious) Their were some laughing moments after we switched subjects regarding my crazy dead beat baby daddy’s. I only have 2 but damn both of them! (wait did I say I ONLY LMBO)

I have 2 kids and single , but I hope not to be for long… ( let me know if you know any good men.) I still have faith that I will find a man to share my life with.

I hope you enjoyed meeting me, because it was my pleasure. I just relocated to a new city and don’t know to many people, so maybe we can be friends… or not!!!